He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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