I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
where am i from again
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
