just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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