Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
