We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
she smelled like a LAN party
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
