i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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