How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
