do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
