All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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