The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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