Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
