Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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