the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
