Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
