There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
is wine microwaveable?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
