The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
A+ Viking dick
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
