Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I need moral support for this bender
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Randomize
