I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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