my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
