from now on my penis is your penis
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
