he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
