3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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