Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
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