Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
