I'm pants shitting drunk right now
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
