So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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