Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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