I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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