I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
