Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
