I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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