I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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