garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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