Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Randomize
