Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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