i already hear my dad disowning me
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
