there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
