you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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