he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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