she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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