I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I am spending my child support on dildos
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
