Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
