4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
