Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
