so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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