hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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