i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
