I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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