I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
