you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
