I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
