Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
