we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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