The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
