I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Randomize
